Triathlon Parenting » team

GROCERY STORE SURVIVAL SKILLS

Davi Nabors — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 17:55:43 +0000

Shopping with a curious toddler or squirmy preschooler can actually be fun. But, as you well know, it can also become a nightmare. PREVENTION is the key, and we will talk about that later. But for now, let’s assume the meltdown is already in full swing, and you need tools NOW!

In the heat of a volcanic eruption, your goal is Damage Control. Once an outburst begins, it is usually too late to completely restore law and order, as your child has reached her breaking point and is communicating this quite clearly. My suggestion for surviving this traumatic moment is to: 1) STAY CALM, 2) SHOW EMPATHY, and 3) FINISH YOUR SHOPPING (though quicken your pace). First, if you do not lose your cool, drive-by shoppers will be less interested in watching you. Second, admit to your child that this is boring, and praise her for her patience so far. Try to soothe her in a productive way. Is there a healthy snack you can give her to curb her hungries? “I bet you are hungry. It’s past snack time. Would you like some Cheerios or some GoldFish crackers right now?” (CAUTION: Do NOT fall into the trap of offering a bribe. Promising to buy a candy bar or toy if your child quiets down will open Pandora’s Box of Manipulative Battles for shopping trips to come!!!) However, another safe response is to distract your little trooper by talking about the fun you will have together when you get home.

Lastly, if these tactics do not work and the howling continues, simply finish your shopping as quickly as possible and be prepared for a possibly loud ride home. Chances are, you overdid the morning and that ought to motivate ya to prepare differently next time. (See tips for Meltown Prevention). The good news is, thunderous meltdowns are often followed by a priceless, peaceful nap!

The Winning Team (written Fall ’09)

Davi Nabors — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 23:07:26 +0000

“GO TEAM!” I was born to be a cheerleader. Once I find a team or a cause to support, blood explodes through my veins, launching me into A-C-T-I-O-N! Next thing you know, the infectious enthusiasm touches fans around me. Smiles pop up on their faces and supportive cheers escape from their mouths. The fever spreads like electricity, and can energize all in its path. But what happens if the fever becomes destructive? What are the consequences of supporting “your” team by putting the other team down? I’m ashamed to admit it, but I can remember joining in to shoot insults at an opponent. Sometimes, the attacks seemed outright funny. But in hindsight, I knew they were mean. Which also made them wrong. In light of the presidential election, I discussed this difference with my sons. I asked them to imagine being on “The Purple Team” and hearing fans yell, “GO Purple!” Then I asked them to imagine the crowd chanting, ‘The Yellow Team stinks like rotten bananas!’ (Predictably, the boys began to chant too, triggering laughter among us). But when the chuckling subsided, I soberly asked, “How do you think the Yellow Team feels now?” OUCH! “And how do you think God feels about this?” Then, I reminded the boys that we are all on God’s Team. Through His Word, He coaches us to be kind and fair to each other. And no matter who wins the contest, Jesus will love every single one of us. The boys quickly got the point.

As football, soccer and election coverage fills the Fall air, emotionally charged opinions are heard on the fields, in homes, and on TV. Now is Prime Time to strike up a rich conversation with your kids. Help them identify examples of positive sportsmanship versus mean-spirited attacks. Teach them to empathize with both sides of the field. And ask them how they can be a Christ-like example to those around them while enthusiastically supporting their favorite team.

Why “Triathlon Parenting?”

Davi Nabors — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 08:28:54 +0000

To contact Davi: davi@triathlonparenting.com

Just three years after the birth of Harrison, my second son, I felt a sudden desire, no, an overwhelming need, to compete in my first triathlon. I was never aware of this urge before, but at 37, the effects of mommy-hood were ruthlessly chipping away at my self-esteem. Drowning in doubt over my skills as a mom, failing to find the meaning of life in dirty diapers and laundry, and watching my body turn into an amorphous blob was more than I could take. I needed to prove myself in some other challenging, productive and exciting way. Together with a few of my closest girlfriends, we registered for the 2004 Danskin Triathlon in Austin, Texas.

Training for the race seemed, at times, as challenging as motherhood itself. But the experience taught me more about myself than I’d ever imagined. The most significant revelation actually led to my writing this blog.

DIVING IN: Here’s what happened. I was 1/2 way into an intense treadmill workout, sweating my babyfat off and feeling the rush of adrenalin, when I was struck by an “Endorphin Epiphany.” I suddenly recognized a striking similarity between triathlons and parenting. Good ole Webster defines Triathon (n.) as “an endurance race combining events in swimming, bicyling, and running.” Leave out any one of these events, and you no longer have a true triathlon. I think parenting is also made up of 3 essential parts: prayer, relationship and learning. Without faith, a healthy connection with your child, or the desire to continue learning, parenting becomes something much less than God designed it to be.

DIVING DEEPER: Breaking the definition down further, endurance can be defined as as the ability to stand pain and race as a competition. Excluding parents entranced with heavy doses of Valium, all would agree that parenting requires unending endurance. And if you consider the war between most parental values and the Hollywood values of mainstream society, it’s pretty clear that parenting has serious competition. In fact, I think parents compete on lots of levels. For example, on the inside, I’m sometimes tormented by by the struggle between my worth as a parent and self doubt. But there are tons of other examples (big and small) such as those of a dad struggling to put a shirt on his squirming infant OR a mom’s “No, you may not!” defended head-on by an emphatic “Just watch me!” Anyway you look at it, parenting just may be counted as the ultimate race.

I invite you register to join me in this race of Triathlon Parenting. It’s tons better to train, race and celebrate with a friend than to try to go it alone.