If you have the desire to pray, but are not sure how to begin, here are a few tips to get you going.

Baby-Steps

• Give thanks. Mealtime blessings are great way to connect as family around the table and offer thanks to God for our food.
• Ask for strength. Silently or out loud, eyes open or closed (it totally doesn’t matter), “Heavenly Father, I’m feeling exhausted and stressed out. Please give me the strength to make it through the day.”
• Ask for perspective. God maintains perfect perspective even when we’re in the midst of ugly. “Lord, help me look past this Terrible Twos Tantrum and see my daughter just as you do, precious and lovable.”
• Say Goodnight. As you lay your child in bed each night, say a soft prayer to help sooth him or her to sleep, thank God for a specific blessing you experienced that day, and ask God for peace and protection during the night.

It may feel uncomfortable at first, but take comfort in knowing there is really no wrong way to pray!  And learning to pray is one of the most powerful gifts you can give yourself and your children.  Besides, God is never too busy to hear our prayers. In fact, He waits expectantly to hear from us.

     While the perfect cure for Spring Fever has not yet been developed, methods to minimize its impact are listed below. 

      1.  Go outside. Once the sun (bright yellow ball in the sky that emits heat and light) starts shining, hit the door running. Add extra time for play outside and, if you can, take your work/homework outside to a picnic table or blanket on the lawn. 

      2.      Hold down the fort. Continue to set firm but loving boundaries and routines with your children; but recognize that it IS normal for everyone to feel a little burned-out and tired at this point. So pour on the love and talk candidly about what is going on.

      3.      Eat healthy. Take advantage of the sweet fruits and crisp, colorful veggies that are now in season. Keep minds sharp and bodies healthy with a combination of lean protein and nature’s vitamin-rich treats. Standardized testing and finals begin soon. Healthy diets and plenty of rest can help our kids fight stress and do their best on these rigorous tests. 

      4.      Tie up loose ends. We want to enter the summer with NO REGRETS. There is still time to share your concerns, questions, suggestions, and praises with teachers, administrators and children. Write a note, make a phone call or visit in person. Constructive feedback is worth its weight in gold. Also, use the information you got at Parent-Teacher conferences to help your child reassess achievable goals for the last quarter. Prioritize to keep goals realistic and manageable.

      5.    Focus on today and “…do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself.”  Matthew 6:34. Better yet, celebrate each day by letting God surprise you with the incredible wonders of Spring.

      As I wrap up my typing, I see the sun peeking through my window. My ability to type is fading…my focus is clouding…ants are invading…I must…go……..outside!  Hope to see you there!    

Likewise, when we show our children unconditional love and empathy while allowing them to make age-appropriate mistakes and face age-appropriate consequences, the consequences become the piece they fear…not the Wrath of Mommy or Dad. If they learn to fear US, they will be tempted to avoid us, sneak around us, and rebel against words. that’s really not what we intend, is it?

The Bible is there to put us on the right course. For starters, pray each day for God to fill you with the <em>fruits of the spirit</em> (Galatians 5:29) so that you can be a disciple to your child. And memorize a few encouraging Bible verses (like John 15:7-8, Ephesians 4:29, and 1 Thessalonians 5:16). Try to say them out loud when you hit an ugly spot in your day. Or, for visual learners (like me) write them on sticky notes and stick them to your bathroom mirror. When you are able to escape for a few moments of alone time, those encouraging words will be right there to greet you.

SUPPORT your child with the basics. 1. After school, offer a healthy (low-sugar, high- protein) snack for refueling. 2. Allow 20-30 minutes of individualized “unwind time” before hitting the books. This can look different for each child. While Julie may retreat to a quiet spot alone, Jake may race off to climb trees and wildly shout at neighbors. 3.Create a study environment that matches personal learning styles. For example, prop me up on a carpeted floor in a quite room, and I can study for hours. But my son focuses best at a well-lit desk with music playing in the background.

IDENTIFY the work to be tackled. Ask your child to read and explain each assignment to you. Are the directions clear? Did the necessary books and papers make it home? Does your child need help writing down and organizing assignments? A teacher conference may be just the remedy.

MOTIVATE “Feel free to (insert favorite after-school activity here) as soon as your homework is finished,” is a golden, empowering statement. And “I’ll be happy to discuss that after you do homework,” can prevent an impending argument.

PRIORITIZE Teach your child to prioritize multiple tasks by asking leading questions. “Would you like to tackle the hardest subject first or warm up with an easier one?” “This book report is too complicated to complete in one night. How can you break it down into smaller pieces?” Write down due dates and milestones as visual reminders.

LOVE your child always, but reject inappropriate behavior. If study frustrations lead to a flaring temper, show empathy while setting clear boundaries. “I can see how frustrated you are about that tough math problem. I’ll be glad to help you as soon as you lower your voice and sit back down.”

ENCOURAGE: Be genuine and praise specific behaviors. “Good Job!” is not nearly as encouraging as, “I noticed you kept trying even when that problem seemed impossible earlier. I’m proud of you for using your courage to stick to it and finish the assignment!”

Just three years after the birth of Harrison, my second son, I felt a sudden desire, no, an overwhelming need, to compete in my first triathlon. I was never aware of this urge before, but at 37, the effects of mommy-hood were ruthlessly chipping away at my self-esteem. Drowning in doubt over my skills as a mom, failing to find the meaning of life in dirty diapers and laundry, and watching my body turn into an amorphous blob was more than I could take. I needed to prove myself in some other challenging, productive and exciting way. Together with a few of my closest girlfriends, we registered for the 2004 Danskin Triathlon in Austin, Texas.

Training for the race seemed, at times, as challenging as motherhood itself. But the experience taught me more about myself than I’d ever imagined. The most significant revelation actually led to my writing this blog.

DIVING IN: Here’s what happened. I was 1/2 way into an intense treadmill workout, sweating my babyfat off and feeling the rush of adrenalin, when I was struck by an “Endorphin Epiphany.” I suddenly recognized a striking similarity between triathlons and parenting. Good ole Webster defines Triathon (n.) as “an endurance race combining events in swimming, bicyling, and running.” Leave out any one of these events, and you no longer have a true triathlon. I think parenting is also made up of 3 essential parts: prayer, relationship and learning. Without faith, a healthy connection with your child, or the desire to continue learning, parenting becomes something much less than God designed it to be.

DIVING DEEPER: Breaking the definition down further, endurance can be defined as as the ability to stand pain and race as a competition. Excluding parents entranced with heavy doses of Valium, all would agree that parenting requires unending endurance. And if you consider the war between most parental values and the Hollywood values of mainstream society, it’s pretty clear that parenting has serious competition. In fact, I think parents compete on lots of levels. For example, on the inside, I’m sometimes tormented by by the struggle between my worth as a parent and self doubt. But there are tons of other examples (big and small) such as those of a dad struggling to put a shirt on his squirming infant OR a mom’s “No, you may not!” defended head-on by an emphatic “Just watch me!” Anyway you look at it, parenting just may be counted as the ultimate race.

I invite you register to join me in this race of Triathlon Parenting. It’s tons better to train, race and celebrate with a friend than to try to go it alone.