Relationship Matters
When it comes right down to it, parenting is ALL about relationship!!! Creating and maintaining a healthy and loving relationship with our kids is essential to being an effective parent. We can look at how God parents us as our ideal parenting example. Our Heavenly Father sets boundaries and rules for us while allowing us free will to grow and develop. He is neither too strict, nor is He too permissive. When we (as adults) make mistakes or bad choices, our Heavenly Father never ceases to love us as He ALLOWS the natural consequences of our actions to teach us even the most painful lessons. This is how we grow, mature and become responsible people.
Likewise, when we show our children unconditional love and empathy while allowing them to make age-appropriate mistakes and face age-appropriate consequences, the consequences become the piece they fear…not the Wrath of Mommy or Dad. If they learn to fear US, they will be tempted to avoid us, sneak around us, and rebel against words. that’s really not what we intend, is it?
The Bible is there to put us on the right course. For starters, pray each day for God to fill you with the <em>fruits of the spirit</em> (Galatians 5:29) so that you can be a disciple to your child. And memorize a few encouraging Bible verses (like John 15:7-8, Ephesians 4:29, and 1 Thessalonians 5:16). Try to say them out loud when you hit an ugly spot in your day. Or, for visual learners (like me) write them on sticky notes and stick them to your bathroom mirror. When you are able to escape for a few moments of alone time, those encouraging words will be right there to greet you.
Reader Comments
Thank you! Honestly, I never realized how raising two toddlers was going to be quite so trying! The moment you said “You want our children to fear the consequences, not fear us” and talked about building this type of relationship with them even though the “learning” experiences it has opened up a new direction for me and for them… Making sure they hear and feel that I love them even in times they are not too happy about something has lessened the tantrum/emotional battle I usually face when I am reacting to their bad behavior without maintaining the relationship between us.
I love it! That’s half the battle right there! Keep on loving right through the ugly
Davi, I have a 14 year old daughter who is a very good athlete. She quits every sport she starts. The weeks that she is at her Dads he takes her to pratice if he feels like it. I am so frustrated I just want to quit at parenting. I was an athlete and understand the importance and dediation needed to acheice excellance but I can not instill it into my Daughter. Help!!!!!
Renee’