Triathlon Parenting

“Pray, Relate, Learn”

PRAY Parenting was not designed to be tackled alone, and it never has to be. Even single parents (who fly solo in the matters of family, home, and work) can have the most amazing partner on their parenting team (whether they know it or not). This partner is always available, always listening, and eagerly waits to be invited to comfort, guide, renew, restore, encourage, support, love and answer the call. Sound too good to be true? Well, if you don’t know already, I’ll letcha in on a very exciting secret.

PRAY was intentionally placed as the first of the 3 triathlon legs. I’ve tried parenting in the reverse order, where, alone I try to learn and apply all I can, and I try to build strong relationships with my boys. But I find that my human weaknesses always have a way of messing things up. After trying and failing countless times to be a totally self-sufficient mom, I gave up and cried out to God in desperation. His answer was loving and simple, “I’d love to be a part of your Parenting Team. I was just waiting for you to invite me.”

Ever since the Lord’s been on my Team, I’ve been a much better, happier, loving mom. And when I trip off course, (as I still often do), God covers me in grace and guides me back on track. It just doesn’t make sense to run the race alone. And we don’t have to. Pray first. Pray hard. Pray always.

RELATE To introduce RELATE, the second segment of the parenting triathlon, I’ve got a story for you.

Lindsay was a young, vibrant, athlete who loved to run. At times it was hard for her, but the exhilaration of finishing always seemed worth the pain. She dreamed her whole life of winning a gold medal in a race, and one year she decided to run in her city’s annual marathon. For months Lindsay poured her heart into training. Through dedicated weight lifting, she strengthened key muscle groups. By pushing herself harder than she’d ever run, her endurance and speed improved greatly. And, for a time, she hired a personal trainer who taught her state-of the-art techniques and race strategies. About two months before the marathon, Lindsay overextended her leg and suffered a pulled hamstring. Determined to recover in time to compete, she fought through the pain and frustration of healing. By the time she recovered, she knew she’d lost a ton of ground. More motivated than ever, Lindsay kicked her training into overdrive.

Race Day arrived just as Linsday was at the peak of condition. Wide eyed and brimming with jitters, she wedged her way to a prime spot at the Start Line. At the blast of the gun, she took off running. It was a phenomenal start. And with each person she passed, her excitement built. The race was long and exhausting, and there were times she thought she’d throw up every butterfly inside. But in the final mile, she gave every last ounce of energy and crossed the finish line faster than any female had ever run the race before. Her crimson face beamed as she imagined her prized gold medal.

Moments after crossing the Finish, two race officials approached Lindsay with puzzled looks on their faces. “Where is you bib number?” they asked her as she strained to catch her breath. “You know, the one that identifies you as a contestant in the race?” Lindsay’s bewildered expression said it all as her face turned ghostly white. In the midst of training, she had totally forgotten to register for the marathon. Tears welled in the officials’ eyes as they gently empathized with her, “We know how much training and effort you must have endured to run this record-breaking pace. But since you did not actually register for the race, you are not an official contestant. We are unable to award you a medal. Your race time does not count.”

The moral of the story: As parents, we have big dreams and the greatest intentions for raising our kids. And, like Lindsay, we pour our hearts and souls into being the best parents we can be. But BEWARE! In our determination to persue the dream, we can lose sight of what really counts. Even if our children exceed our expectations as the best, the brightest, and most polite, if we’ve not focused on creating a healthy and loving relationship with them, none of the rest truly matters.

LEARN LEARNING is the third and final leg of the parenting triathlon. It, too, is necessary because it keeps our parenting muscles from getting mushy and flopping into unhealthy parenting habits. In this blog, you’ll find practical strategies, hands-on exercises, and Q and As to stretch your views, refine your techniques and tone your confidence as a parent. I bet what you’ll also find is confirmation that you are already doing a phenomenal job as a parent!

And, since we’re all in this race together, I beg you to share your favorites, your “must reads,” and your “gotta tries” with the rest of us. I’m always excited to learn something new.